Musings by OZ

I am by no means a writer, I am a reader, I love a good book and have been a fairly voracious reader for most of my adult life.  The fact is that reading has sometimes gotten me into trouble, I have been known to read at red lights forgetting where I am until I hear the horn honking behind me. In Santa Fe I even had a cop pull up beside me at a traffic light, he rolled his window down and hit the siren. I jumped in my seat and nervously glanced over to see the officer staring at me doing the universal roll the window down hand signal. I rolled down my window expecting to be chastised and was surprised when the cop asked me what I was reading. I showed him my copy of Christopher Moore’s book, Lamb The Gospel of Biff – Christ’s Childhood Pal , a very entertaining book if not a bit blasphemous, the officer started laughing and picked up a dog eared copy of the same book that was sitting next to him in the squad car. He complemented me on my choice of reading material and suggested that I should pull over to the side next time.

 I have had a couple of employers that were suspicious of my multiple long bathroom breaks each day, I always blamed my lengthy trips to the bathroom on irritable bowels but the sad truth is that I was hiding in the bathroom reading. I assumed that it was such a crappy subject that no-one would really ask any questions and no one ever did, but I suspect they knew I was full of shit.

Reading was always important to me, I could never seem to find time to read when I worked for someone else so being the committed reader that I was I decided to start my own company so I didn’t have to hide in the bathroom when I wanted to read.  As a one man shop this worked great until I realized that I didn’t make money when I was sitting at my desk reading, this motivated me to get more work so I could hire employees to do my work for me so I could spend more time reading.

Writing is a completely different story, I have never done much writing especially in school, ask any of my teachers and they will surely agree. Second to wood shop English was my favorite class because I was able to read, of course my overall grades were horrible because the class always required writing and I never had the patience for that. I could disappear into a book for hours at a time but when it came to writing I just couldn’t keep my mind on the subject. 

When I was in elementary school I joined the band and chose the trumpet as my instrument, I never really practiced the trumpet, actually thats not quite true, I practiced it once and recorded myself practicing so every night when I was supposed to be in my room practicing I would turn up the volume of my boombox and play back the recording, instead of practicing I just sat in the corner and read a book.  I eventually got kicked out of the band which was ok because I now had more time to read.

It has taken a decade or three but I have finally reached a point in my life where I have found that I not only have the patience to sit down and write but I actually have something to write about. I am finding that I really enjoy sitting down and tapping away at the keyboard for hours a time.  

 Over the last year or so I have been asked by quite few people if I would be willing to share my experience with cancer because they themselves are fighting or they have friends or family that are dealing with cancer. Before I was diagnosed I never really payed much attention to cancer, in a strange way it is kind of like owning a car or motorcycle that you really enjoy, for example I never had an interest in Harley’s until I bought one, now when I hear that rumble I always look up to see what kind of bike it is. I now see them everywhere when I never noticed them previously. I never thought I would be a Harley guy but I guess I am, in a similar way of thinking I am now a cancer guy, now that cancer is a part of my life I notice it everywhere. Since my diagnosis I have lost 5 friends to cancer and so many friends that I know have lost friends and family to this disease. Maybe I am just hyper aware of cancer now but it really seems like the disease is reaching epidemic proportions.  

You would expect that upon diagnosis you would learn everything that you need to know from your doctor but unfortunately this is not the case or at least for me it was not the case. My doctor diagnosed my disease and prescribed my treatment but that is pretty much where it ended. When asked about the effects of chemo we were told that it differs from patient to patient. When asked about diet we were told that it has no bearing on my disease and when I asked about using THC and CBD the doctor was not willing to even discuss the topic. As a whole I was very disappointed with the info that was offered. I have had many people ask me about my diagnosis and my symptoms, about my experience with the health care system, and about my experience with the treatments that I have received. It is because of these inquisitive people that I have decided to write this blog and share some of my experiences.  

It is because of cancer that I discovered my enjoyment for writing, in fact cancer has given me a couple of gifts. Because of cancer I now have a greater appreciation for life. What I have gone through these past couple of years has given me a strength and self confidence that I have never known before. I have gained a level of empathy for others that I never had before and it has helped me discover my joy of writing by giving me something to write about.  Thank you cancer because not only will I be stronger once I kick your ass again but I now have a new hobby!

Fuck Cancer!

In the coming weeks I will be posting some of my experiences with cancer from these past few years, I have previously talked about some of these experience on Face Book but not in such detail. At this point I only have a few people following my blog, most of you are reading my posts on FB which is totally cool but I would love it if you would actually follow me by clicking the follow blog button thingy that you will find if you go to WWW.Ozelton.com.  Its a simple process, you sign up to follow me and each time that I make a new post you will receive an email with the new story.  I won’t be spamming you with unsolicited stuff so there is no reason not to sign right up and follow my Blog!